The Top Twenty Cheesiest Love Songs
The Diner Music
(pictured above - Drew Stein and James Panepinto circa 1980)
20. Do That To Me One More Time - The Captain & Tennille (There's a flute solo that will leave you with ED . . . )
19. Every Breath You Take - The Police (This song is about stalking and always confused for a love song.)
18. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston (Be honest with yourself, you can't live up to Kevin Costner.)
17. Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi (You don't work on the docks. You're not from New Jersey. The hair alone puts this one firmly on the list)
16. Nothing Compares To You - Sinead O'Connor (Yikes, break out the gouda . . . this one is drippy.)
15. Spandau Ballet - True (Ah . . . the song that got you halfway to second base at your 7th grade dance . . .break out the slap bracelets . . . this song makes this list!!!)
14. Color Me Badd - I Adore Mi Amor (Are you wearing baggy pleated pants and a vest with no shirt underneath? Yes? Good, this one goes out to you.)
13. When A Man Loves A Woman - Percy Sledge (Do you want Michael Bolton to ruin your wedding like he ruined this song? Cause he will. He ruins everything. Unless you like cheese - the go for it!)
12. I Want To Know What Love Is - Foreigner (Did you drive to your wedding in a T-Top Camaro? If yes, I'm pretty sure there's no way on earth anyone would marry you, so go ahead and listen to this by yourself in the parking lot with a six pack of Schlitz.)
11. Eternal Flame - The Bangles. (The original name was actually "Eternal Flaming Ball of Cheese.")
10. This I Promise You - N'Sync. (Oh JT, how we long for the days when seranaded us with goofiness).
9. Tonight, I Celebrate My Love - Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flach. (Peabo! Peabo! Peabo!)
8. Endless Love - Lionel Richie & Diana Ross. (This song is so over the top . . . so surprised that Lionel Richie only made this list once.)
7/6. I'm All Out Of Love - Air Supply. (Their entire body of work qualifies but #7 is so amazingly cheesy that we were compelled to give them #6 as well.)
5. Everything I Do (I Do It For You) - Bryan Adams (Ok, this one is a guilty pleasure that we all have - especially when he cuts to the bridge . . . THERE'S NO LOVE, LIKE YOUR LOVE . . .)
4. I'll Make Love To You - Boyz 2 Men. (If you actually have the audacity to put this one the ole stereo when you are being intimate with that special someone . . . caveat emptor . . . this is a fondue waterfall.)
3. Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler. (Feel bad about this one being on the list, it's cheesy but really nice at the same time and must admit gives me the chilly willies sometimes cause it taps right into my soft, gooey, cheesy middle parts.)
2. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion. (Tough choice to put this as #2 and not #1, really hard decision.)
1. More Than Words - Extreme. (Extreme . . . .ly cheesy).
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